Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Bottle service etiquette.

There's nothing better than NOT having to elbow your way through the hundreds of thirsty baby calves that plant themselves at the bar drinking from the proverbial teet. Now a days in certain clubs, you can buy alcohol by the bottle. From vodka to gin, jack and scotch, in all the well known brands. But like anything, there are rules that must be followed to have a good bottle experience. The first part of the experience is realizing that getting drinks at a crowded bar from a bitchy bartendress, is something you leave for your worst enemies. A wave of discomfort flashes over you and depending on how many friends your with and their drinking ability, your next thought is usually "lets just get a bottle". You rationalize it in your head saying that its cheaper, you don't have to wait in line to get a drink, no ones going to spill your drink while your turning around....(by the way these things are all true). So now your at a booth, your sitting down, (another bonus) and your bottle of vodka lounges in a fancy metal bucket of ice. There's carifs of cranberry, soda, 7 up, red bull, shoot glasses, straws, cut limes and lemons, napkins for throwing! You feel like a king. Now you think its about time that everyone digs in...Wrong! Here's where the rules come in. Firstly you must designate a server. At least at first. The server should be competent at pouring drinks or its going to get messy. The worst thing is when some reaches for the bottle...Pours themselves a drink and leaves...Without offering anyone. HORRIBLE! Especially if there are ladies around. We all want the ladies to drink, so offer one to them. At he begining of the night, being courteous would be the best thing. Shots at a bar and from a personal bottle are two different things. At the bar your trying to get the best bang for your buck but from a personal bottle your trying to drink together, like the best buck for your bang. Half shots are plenty. Fill the rest up with a juice or something. We don't need straight vodka. It will turn us off to drinking more. Ok the night is coming to an end. The bottle is reaching the bottom, or in Mark Romanelli's birthday parties case, 7 bottles later, everyone's smashed, and the move "the cast away" is being used without knowledge of the consequences. There's a guy pouring straight vodka into peoples mouths while their heads are tilted back. Good times. Well that's all for me..."The party dude" remember, drink lots of water before going out, while your drinking, and before you go to bed. Drinking water while your drinking doesn't make you lose your buzz....Trust me.
I'm off...There's another party I got to go make a mess at... and if your still confused read my book!.....Peace


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