Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Quit smoking before 'May 31st'

No smoking in clubs in Montreal has caused a wide spread panic throughout the city! Its like when you break up with a girlfriend, it takes a couple of days to realize that she isn't coming back to you and that eventually your sheets will stop smelling like her. Ahh god!!! Have mercy!! Bare with me here. I'm figuring that if we all have to quit by D day, that being 'May 31st' , we should be able to help each other out. First thing we all have to do is FUCKING QUIT SMOKING!! That would help. Secondly NO MORE BUMMING CIGARETTES!! Before the ban on smoking bumming a dart didnt seem so bad, but after the ban its going to be taken as an insult. No ones going to buy smokes, but still want to smoke. Its going to get quite annoying. Thirdly, wouldn't you love to know that we, people of this great canadian land, were able to push out the large cigarette companies cause we all stopped smoking at the same time!?? It would be awesome trust me. All we need to do is convince those lazy ass Quebecors who gamble their unemployment insurance money away, smoking two packs a day, drinking and eatting may wests and a coke in the morning, 24 fuckin beers for lunch and dinner, going to the clinic on our tax payers money cause the retard has chronic bronchitis. If we can only get those people on our side! Lets try to work together in the fight to quit smoking. Its going to be worth it!

Howie "smokestakes" Macloud

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Ads for Valentine

We all know our eyes play tricks on us. After a few drinks, some otherwise hoggish woman looks attractive enough to even contemplate talking to and hopefully getting a B.J. in the back of her sweat smelling 'soccer mom' van while in your full on Elvis stance. Or when your at McDonald and you order two big Macs, a filet o'fish, a large fry, a large coke, apple pie, animal cookies, and pay for it all but when you get to the table you realize that you may have just played out your childhood fantasy and that your not actually that hungry! Or when your waiting a red light and the car beside you starts moving forward or backward ever so slightly and you slam on your breaks thinking its you that's moving. We've all had to deal with the uncertainty of our eyes. Some of us have actually started enjoying the fact that they are completely unreliable. Here some advertisements to illustrate my point. Maybe the things we think we know the best are the ones that can deceive us the most. Maybe love is the same way. We think we all understand it and know how and what we want from it yet most of fumble our way around with through it and sometimes completely destroy it. Valentines has to be one of those holidays where they bank on the fact that were all lost in love. Something so innocent as love can also be playdoo'ed into lust, sex on TV, you got to buy the bling or no ones gonna talk to. Anyway, here's some ads I think show us that our minds can be tricked....as long as were scrolling. Peace.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

When computer jerks attack.

ARRGGHH.....I hate computers! I hate them with such a passion that if you hooked up with nods on my temples and attached the other side to a medium sized goat, I would shock him to death. Fry that sucker up till all its fur would fall off until it was crispy enough to eat with a pita and some TZAZEEK!! Gosh darnit! The next worst thing, other than a computer, is the person who knows about it better than you do. They are like crack dealers. They get you hooked, make your life seem like its peaches and cream lines of girls wanting to massage your feet, then the pull the Persian carpet from under your sorry ass and send you flying across a badly made cement floor, while your knees act like crayons, drawing skid marks with your DNA! Horrible. I recently had to hire a computer guy to come and fix my tramp of a computer. He's telling me that I need a new one. Yeah great, that's was fuckin easy solution, now I have to pay you 75 bucks?? Me.."But I thought that our mutual friend said 50 and hour??" him..."Yeah, but I came in at 10:15 and its 11:30." Give me a break! You did nothing other than fiddle on the computer, turn it off and on, go into bios, take out my ram and Nintendo blow on it, no way HOE-ZAY. I don't know about you people but I'm going back to ANALOG!!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

the IRISH SPRING effect

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a phenomenon that every 3000 years the area around Montreal becomes a tropical paradise for 15 years? Banana trees replace pine trees, women walk half naked ALL year round and we're able to grab an extremely golden tan, naturally of course, none of that electric beach shit. Well we are close aren't we! The weather is fuckt! I call it the Irish spring effect! Lets hope this has nothing to do with the ozone layer and more to do with that phenomenon!! Wasn't it groundhog day like two days ago?? You think that ground hog saw its shadow? I swear if it didn't everyone's invited to my house for 100% ground hog...Nice!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Great Mahi Mahi recipe

I hope you all enjoy this wonderful recipe. love you all!